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April 9th, 2004

03:59 pm - for once... i actually have nothing negative to say, im truly very happy right now, the only place to go from here is down because i couldnt be any "higher" hahaha.....im just lovin' life for the first time in a long time. and ive come to realize, i cant judge people when i dont know them just by what i hear and all that. ive learned a lot from giving people a chance that i normally wouldnt, not all of them turned out to great but for the most part they did....well i need to clean....bye Current Mood: happy Current Music: Hanson- "I will come to you"

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March 28th, 2004

08:10 am - my wonderful spring break... Umm all i remember is Tuesday, Wayne, Sam, Vicky, and Bryant were over and we smoked. Whatever same old same old. Wed: I had to take Ashley and Kelsie to Tracie's at around 1pm. Stayed there to watch them and Isaiah. It sucked. I wanted vicky to come over there but she didnt want to. Thur: Got up REAL early, got ready, my mom drove me to my Grandpa's house in OAk Lawn. I met me cousin, same age as me,and her b/f there. We talked to them for a lil bit. Then I left with my cousin and her b/f. I was going to stay at her house until Sunday. She lives in Richmond IL. which goin 70mph only take about an hour and 15 min. WEll her b/f got lost and it took us 3 1/2 hours to get home. but at least we were stoned. neways....we got to her house, i took a nap. then a bunch of her friends came over, we smoked. Later that night we went to some guys house were everone else was going and i got drunk off my ass. it was geat. Next day, me and Amanda got ready, and then went into to town to go look at all the shops. then we went out to lunch. then we went back to her house. smoked. Umm, later that night some things happened and i really wanted to go home. Long story short, I had my Aunt drive me to my other aunts house in IL becase she was coming to my hous the next day and she could take me home. SO i stayed the night at my aunt marshas and they took me home in the mornin. i stayed here with the kids while everyone went to the house. I took my lil cousin Jimmy to the skate park. then when marsha got home we went to the lighthouse mall and i got a pair of shoes and 2 pants for dkny. ohh...and sunglasses lol. um, last night i had to go to like 3 different places to get everyone. I had to sleep on the couch cuz my aunt and her kds were in my moms room. myuncle was in my bed, my mom and my other couin hialey were on the other couch. it sucked. and the only reason im online right now is cuz there no were to watch tv. GRRR!!! well my spring break really sucked. next year, im going somewhere, likeCalifornia,since ive always wanted to go there!!!! ahh that would be great! i dont know, thats all i really got to say, sorry if i bored u lol. Current Mood: lazy Current Music: my uncle mike snoring in my room, he sounds like a dumpdrunk

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March 16th, 2004

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March 5th, 2004

08:45 am - Im 8*teen....whoopi! Well, this passed Wednesday was my 18th birthday and it fricken sucked! I mean, it really did. I mean goin with vicky was fun but i didnt think thats what i would be doing on my 18th bday. o well. So yea, I saw that Passion of the Christ movie the other day, holy moly! Was that a movie! I cant believe how much they actually show you. they dont spare u on anything, they show it all! I would say, GO SEE IT!, even if ur not religious! Anyways...i dont really have to much to talk about. My dad is a fucking asshole and i wanna strangle him because he says things to me about going to summer school faster cuz it would benifit me, well he forgot to mention that hes pissed cuz hes gotta pay child support until im out of school, so hes trying to get me to get done as soon as possible. i should have known. that jerk. Last Sunday was my gpa's 72nd birthday, we went with the whole family to some really nice restuarant to eat. it was fun. The next day i got my car!!!! yes!!! but i cant drive it yet. we went to get the plates on wed. and we couldnt cuz my grandpa forgot to date something, and my g ma didnt sign it cuz she didnt know her name was on the title. so we sent it express so it should be here later today, so yay for me. umm, ive come to realize, that when u become friends with ur enemies, they are the ones that can hurt you the most. I cannot believe what some are my X friends are saying about me. And to that certain someone, you know who u are: I have absolutly nothing to say to you. What you said made me so mad, that yea. i did wanna go off on you, but i thought about it, and what the hell could i say to you. what u said was the WORST thing u could possibly say to me. I mean u fucking win. i have nothing to come back at you with because what u said cant be topped. i cant believe a person of ur lifestyle and all the mature things u need to deal with day by day that u would say something like that! so u know what, u win. i really am furious, but im speechless. So continue talking shit about me, cuz i give up on you. ur not even worth fighting with, or talking shit about. im not even gonna brother wasting my breath on u after this. so thanks again because u are the winner of the person who said the most awful thing they could possibly say to me! congradulations!!!!!!! Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: all the thoughts in my head going a million miles an hour!

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February 21st, 2004

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February 20th, 2004

06:56 pm - boring lj i've come to realize that my livejournal has not had anything interesting in it for a while now. I just dont ever feel like going out and doing anything. I'd rather sleep or just lay around. I dont know why. I think i might be depressed again. Not as bad as i was in 2002, but im up there. It just sucks, because i cant even come up with a specific reason i am depressed, i just am. I guess with everything that is going on with my life right now i would have some reason to be this way but i just keep thinking that are people out there with so much more difficult problems then me that i shouldnt even complaining. i dont know. So, last night was interesting. Vicky came over here and as soon as she got here Nyhart called and she wanted him to come over. So he came over, Ashley was here so she was a sure thing for entertainment. lol she likes matt which is always a good thing. so we pretty much sat around and did nothing, and of course, vicky had to be home at 9, so she was trying to leave at 8:35, it doesnt take 25 min to get home. egh, yea so then matt comes up with the bright idea of saying he was supposed to be home at 8:30 which i fricken knew was a lie. ugh sometimes i hate him and i dont know why the hell she wastes her time with him. omg im trying to teach ashley her "Do Re Mi's" and its just not working. how hard is it to remember LA a note to follow Soe, she just cant get it right haha. but she can sing, Simple Plan, Shakira, Dixie Chicks, Tim McGraw, Rkelly, and so much more. i dont understand. i dont know this whole entry was me pretty much saying nothing so i dont even know why im posting it, i gotta clean my house before my mom gets home because my grandparents are coming with my car this weekend so the house has gotta be spotless ya know? well......A A A A A A A A A A UNIT! Current Mood: depressed Current Music: George Lopez

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February 19th, 2004

04:24 pm - 36 more minutes!! alright this fricken make up lab is over in 36 min. and if it doesnt go by any faster im gonna kill someone cuz im so fricken hungry. sorry for the outburst, later! Current Mood: hungry Current Music: nothing

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February 18th, 2004

08:09 pm - not so much a red-letter day for me... Well today fricken sucked, and yea, so does everyday but still. I drove to school, had some kid buy me sqaures during lunch, my god! 15 more days till i can buy them myself, whooopi! ...not! whats so great about turning 18, now i can buy something i already can get myself, i can vote, yea who cares, strip club, yea, im headed there REAL soon...i always thought turning 18 was going to be so great but now, i really could care less to tell ya the truth. i dont know. So ne ways, 2nd hour was iiight, finished watching Valley Girl. it was an ok movie. Then, i drove home, attempted to sleep but my mom kept making me call all these places for her while she was getting ready for work, so that didnt work out to well. Then, by the time i was done, i had to drive her to work, then be back up at school by 3:00 for make up lab. I was supposed to stay for 2 hours but when i got there i thought about how tired i was and i told them i was only staying for 1 hour. I got to see Jessica who i havnt seen in weeks. Yea, i also got to see Latham but that didnt make me as excited. so anyways, then i went home and tried to sleep again but vicky called, and so i ended up going to her house for a little bit but i got kinda mad and left because whenever im over there shes either on the phone with matt or trey, and its like if i wanted to sit in a room and watch tv by myself, then i would have done that at home. even when shes at my house she always has to call matt or something i dont get it o well, it doesnt really matter to me, i just dont wanna sit there watching someone talk on the phone, and im sure she wouldnt like it either. as would anyone. So yea, now im home. im pissed cuz that stupid man got through on american idol and that lisa girl or whatever her name was, sang WAY better. whatever, america is retarded. so is the world! so now im flippen tired and my mom is prolly not gonna get off till like 1 am. and shes gonna call then and im gonna have to go get her and like normal when i get there shes not gonna come out for like 20 min, so i cant go to sleep otherwise im gonna be to tired to drive. so if i stay up im gonna be tired for school tomorrow...omg, why is life so dumb! and vicky: why do we have laws, i mean, who the hell are they, to tell us, HUMANS, what to do! we are human beings, not dogs!!! hahaha! u crack me shit up, and i set it off in this lj but u got ur boyz! well i dont know im gonna go try and take a little nap till like 9 cuz i gotta watch the mole and tape it for my ma. Later ya'll.....and where the hell is newton??? im gonna kill him!!! Current Mood: crappy Current Music: National Security (the movie)

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February 17th, 2004

01:27 pm - Waiting for Vic to pick me up... Well, I got out of 2nd hour at 1:10 and i have to wait until 2:15 for Vicky to come pick me up. Because my mom had to go into work early. Well, I get my car Friday. Im excited aside from the fact that im not going to be able to drive it until like april or maybe even may. Which fricken sux! O well...Im in here with a fricken class which i feel pretty dumb because the computer teacher said there wasnt a class coming in here this hour. o well, im gonna type up my vocab, later! Current Mood: bored Current Music: Mrs Renaldo's class talking about crap

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February 14th, 2004

02:45 pm - Happy Fricken' Valentine's Day! Well, I havnt wrote in a while because nothing to interesting has happened lately. Um, I've just been hanging out with Vicky and thats it. Wayne and me are friends anymore i guess because hes mad at me and he blocked my number and i dont know why. If anything i think i should be mad at him. O well. Anyways, today sux cuz well, its Valentines Day, and one year ago today, Paul and I were broke up because i broke up with him and went out with Jay. Well, this was the night we got back together after being broken up for almost a month. Plus, Im alone because i have to babysit for my sister today. I really miss paul sometimes. I mean, i'm completely over him and everything but it just sucks cuz yea, there were a lot of bad thing, but there were so many good things too. i dont know, there's really nothing i can do about it. Last night fucking sucked. Me and Vicky had plans for last night since like last Sunday. Well, she was supposed to get off at 4 and call me as soon as she got home. Well, come 5:30 im wondering where she is so i call her house and skip said she hadnt come home from work yet. So im thinking what the hell. Turns out she was with Anthony which pissed me the fuck off. Amanda is calling me looking for her. I finally get a hold of her at home and shes telling me shes gotta cancel plans with me because amanda said that she had to go with her cuz she had tickets to something and her mom really wanted her to go. THEN, turns out the truth is Trey is coming in for valentines day and thats why amanda wants her to break plans with me which didnt fuck make sence, because her and amanda went to a concert, when Vicky could have hung out with me for a while because Trey wasnt coming in till what midnight? o well. Today ive been cleaning and doing laudry all day. fucking vicky, i could kill her. Im wearing like sweats and a t shirt and she shows up with Trey who i never met before and i look like shit he comes in my room and vickys like i wanted u to meet someone, im like WTF! ugh, whatever tho. I dont know, i gotta get in the shower and wait for my sister to get here. Hey shaun, Happy Vday, and happy Star Wars Game Playing lol... LATER! Current Mood: sad Current Music: Nickelback-

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February 6th, 2004

07:44 pm - Bored out of my skull... Well, this week has been far the hardest week of my entire life. I didnt go to school all week, i feel like shit. I cant go anywhere. So i really dont have anything interesting to write about. Once I go back to school its gonna be a bitch to get caught up. And i cant even say one class is gonna be harder then the other cuz they are all gonna be fucking hard. First hour, my teacher was like be sure not to miss this week because this lesson is real hard (math) and i missed the WHOLE week. English class, we get 5 new vocab words a day, and i missed 20 words and like 10 idioms. Yea im screwed cuz when i go back im gonna have a test on them even though ive never seen them. 3rd hour, History, yea i know for sure im fucked in there. I dont know, AShley is here. Im supposed to watch Kelsie tomorrow at Tracie;s house but my mom has to go to marshas tomorrow and ashley is gonna be here ugh i dont know what im gonna do. this sux. Vicky came by today for like 40min. I havnt seen or heard much from her in a few days which is kinda making me upset since she knows how im feeling right now. o well. i dont know, my mom needs to call my dad cuz that asshole claimed me on his taxes when its my moms year to claim me, and now shes not able to. so that should be iteresting. another thing that should be interesting is my mom goes back to work on Monday, omg!!! i cannot wait!! this has been the longest 5 1/2 months of my life with her home EVERY SINGLE DAY!! woohooo! well i g2g lol, sorry so stupid and boring. LATER! Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Jessica Simpson-"With You"

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February 2nd, 2004

06:57 pm - im a bad student! Well, today I woke up and was gonna go to school then Wayne convinsed me not to which i will regret later because i know hes gonna just stop going to school which means im gonna be in make up lab alone. o well. So i spent the whole day at Waynes. Chris and alex got out at 10:49 so we called them when they got out. Alex said he was gonna come pick us up and take us to McDonalds. Well wayne kept calling and calling and alex would not answer his phone. Then chris, jimmy, and bryant came over and wayne called alex from chris's cell and sure enough he answered no problem so wayne was pissed. and then alex showed up with Veronica. And Wayne was yelling out the window that if Alex didnt leave he was gonna call the police and he pretended to call his mom and told him they were smoking or something. i dont know it was funny. Jimmy ended up leaving and after Alex begged for 10min outside, Wayne let him in. We were all sitten around talking, good laughs, pretty much just making fun of Bryant. I was waiting for Vicky to pick me up to go to her Dr. Appt. When she got there, it was just me wayne and bryant, bryant asked if vicky could take him to work after her dr. appt. omg, the dr apt. was so hilarious vicky laughed so hard she was choking! u had to be there. we almost got into like 40 accidents. hilarious! we took bryant to work and then went to wendy's to eat right by his work. There was some snotty girl there eating by herself talking on her cell and vicky was like should i ask to use her phone for an emergancy and do what they do on boiling points, and im like yea. and then when ur done, be like u didnt win $100 cuz we spent it but u are on mtv and point up and then run. we were laughing so loud we shoulda got kicked out. THEN, Vicky was walking out this door and im like vicky over here, and shes like why? i go whatever, thinking the car was right there, so i go out there and im by myself and im like the car is gone. so im walking all of sudden im walking through the drive thru backwards and i hear welcome to wendys how can i help u and i start busting out laughing out of control i finally find vicky and shes like why are u in the drive thru and im like i thought someone stole the car and then they tried to take my order. omg i was laughing so hard. on the way home, another potential accident. omg, i almost forgot, on the way to the Dr. we cut this black girl off on accident cuz we didnt see her and she was like honking and shit and she was saying shit through her window. like 10 min later she pulls up to us at the light and shes yelling at us with her window up and i roll mine down and she rolls hers down, and shes like "what, what, whats the problem???" im like we didnt see u sorry! and shes like oh ok. and drove off. im like WHAT?? bryants like i almost had to use my black charm on her hahaha. so anyways, me and vicky were doing our usual singing. u know, with our wonderful voices!! Whitney all the way! I dont know. Tomorrow is gonna suck a lot!! i dont know, american idol is on in like .5 seconds so I GOTTA GO!!!!!! gotta go gotta go gotta go right now!! LOL VIC!! where will you be when ur diariah(sp?) comes back??? hahahahahaha Current Mood: happy Current Music: my mom yelling "american idol is on"

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February 1st, 2004

05:33 pm - I'm lost in my thoughts... Last night was interesting. I had to watch Isaiha too. lol He's just the cutest little thing! Umm, my sister took me home this morning around 11:30. I came home and slept forever. My weekend sucked so much. I wasnt allowed to do anything because Im grounded. Yea, almost 18 and im grounded for not cleaning my bathroom up to my mother's standards. I'm so bored, Ive spent the whole day watching a Full House marathon. lol sad i know! haha!! Um, I just watched Beyonce' sing the National Anthem. Very good. I wanna do that someday so bad!!! Not at the super bowl but at some kinda game. lol dork! Im waiting for a lifetime movie to get over so my mom will go get me my newports before i kill myself! I have so much on my mind right now. I feel like breaking down and crying. It sucks because there are only a couple people who know exactly what i am going through. I feel so alone in this whole thing and I feel no one truly understands what this feels like. I just keep telling myself it will be over before i know it, and yet, somehow, that makes me sadder. I dont know. I know eventually everything will be ok. I guess im gonna go cuz im hungry. lol byebye Current Mood: scared Current Music: Monica & 112-"Wherever you go"

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January 31st, 2004

11:40 am - New Journal... Well, my other journal is all messed up because I did an entry at my school and the clock wasnt write, so now all my entires are out of order and they say its the year 2011. So anways, today i havnt done anything so far. I've been just way bored. I need to get in the shower and get ready because I'm babysitting Kelsie over at my sister's house tonight. Im hoping to get a hold of vicky so she can come with me but i think she is at work and i dont know what time she get off. Vicky: remember now matter what happens, im gonna be here for you, and im sure everything will work out. love you! Current Mood: cold Current Music: Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow-"Picture"

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